Monday, December 22, 2014

I have a new companion. Her name is Sister Arthur, she is from Australia. We were in the same ward at BYU-H. So it's been a pretty fun couple of days. Still not much snow here on the ground. I am alright with that, since I am the driver. My Christmas seems like it will be pretty fun. I'm excited!

I know the title of the e-mail sounds depressing. But it really is how I felt. On Tuesday I started to have a sore throat and I was like oh no, I can't get sick I have to sing a solo on Sunday to a song that I don't really know. It didn't get better I just got worse and worse. Knowing me, I wouldn't go to the doctor because I thought that I would get better. On Friday at our mission Christmas devotional my mission presidents wife told me that I needed to go to the doctor. So on Saturday I went to instacare. I got some medicine and thought okay if I pray really hard and do everything that I can the Lord will bless me and I will be able to sing tomorrow. So Sunday morning came and I had to sing at a 9:00 ward. I woke up and I still had no voice, I mean I had a voice like i've been smoking for 40 years. So we said a couple prayers and we had full faith that the Lord would allow me to sing. It is my turn to sing and it was horrible.  It definitely wasn't what I prayed for and what I thought the Lord was going to give me. I kinda felt like Handel (the guy who wrote the Messiah). In his dream he sang and sang, but nothing came out. He had a righteous desire, he just wanted to sing with the Heavenly choir to announce the birth of the Messiah, but that didn't happen. I wondered why the Lord didn't answer my prayer? But He did answer my prayer.  I was able to sing. It wasn't in the way I wanted to sing, but I was able to sing and that's what I asked for. I think that I learned something so much greater these past couple days of not being able to sing the Christmas song.   I felt like Handel these past couple of days. I've been able to feel the music within my heart and I have been able to really look at the words and feel them. I love that I can hear other people singing them. It doesn't matter how well they can sing them, but I've really been able to appreciate the beauty and the spirit that are in these songs. It has been hard not being able to sing, but I am grateful that I have ears to hear and that I can read the words of that beloved night when our Savior was born. 
"For unto YOU is born this day, in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord." I know that Christ was born unto each of us. I love you all so very much!

Merry Christmas!
-Sister Swain

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